Reasons to Buy Wake Up Dead

I wrote a book. It's good. It's not very wordy. It got published. It's for sale. My publisher asked me to "market" it. I said okay. Please buy a copy. The book is a suspense novel in paperback and numerous eBook formats, and is now in its second printing. It has great crossover appeal to mystery and sci-fi lovers as well.

Not sold yet? Here are reasons to buy the book.

It's good
It's cheap
It's lightweight
It's compact
It's durable
It's disposable
It's my last if it doesn't sell
And best of all ...

Imagine the benefits of being a close, personal friend of a truly rich and famous person. You can live vicariously through me as I cruise the streets of Hollywood in an expensive sports car and cavort with beautiful people.

The book also makes a great gift idea. Remember, it's never too early to start Christmas shopping. Give a copy to your favorite friends and relatives. Get an autographed copy and brag about the people you rub elbows with. Autographed copies are available directly from me.

Books are also available from your favorite store. If not in stock, they'll need the author's name, book title, and ISBN number (0-9664520-5-4) to special order it for you. Or buy it from many other booksellers.

PARTIAL LIST OF USES:

Read it.
Display it and tell people, "Oh yeah, I'm a good friend of the author."
Hold it in up public places and look "intellectual."
Do #2 or #3 in a bar for free drinks or sex.
Keep it by the fireplace for kindling.
Store a copy at the cabin for emergency toilet paper.
Line the bottom of the birdcage.
199 pages equals 199 paper airplanes.
Use the pages for target practice at the range.
Exercise your shredder.
Sell your "signed original" at the garage sale and make a profit.
Origami
Paper mache'
Chew toy for Fido.
Shim that wobbly furniture.
Populate the bookshelf.
Read it to a group at the nursing home when serving your "community service."
Throw it off the doomed Stillwater Lift Bridge as a farewell token.
Show it to the police when pulled over and say, "Do you know who I am?"
Tear out the pages and try to buy your groceries with them.
Door jam.
Make pressed flowers.
Cut a hole in the middle and hide things inside.
Use the crumpled pages as packing material.
Throw it at the cat for licking the butter.

Everyone should buy at least six autographed copies.

Here's what 218 readers have to say about Wake Up Dead: Reviews

UPDATE: We sold the movie rights for Wake Up Dead!

My second suspense novel, Big Ice, is now available for sale.

Thank you for your support!

C.B. Jonnes
Famous Author & Regular Guy